【每日克苏鲁】洛夫克拉夫特《异乡人》中英文对照

前言

本次打算给大家分享这篇1926年4月发表于《Weird Tales》的短篇《The Outsider》（译为异乡人或局外人），由H·P洛夫克拉夫特在1921年创作。前天发布的《达贡》其实整体来说较为平庸，仅鉴于其微缩的克苏鲁基调才予以推荐，而这篇《异乡人》中显露出的思想和故事的叙述方式已经较为成熟，具有了相对来说使文章不再空洞的主题。

（配合音乐食用更佳）

其中通过开头对主角回忆的描写不难看出，洛夫克拉夫特很大程度上将自己的童年赋予了主角。无论是阴暗的阁楼图书馆，还是那沉闷如同囚室般的古堡，都展示着畸形母爱和缺失的父爱对他童年乃至一生的重要影响（详细介绍见之前的文章【洛夫克拉夫特：未知的恐惧】），而一直以来由于环境等因素导致的排外情绪也让洛夫克拉夫特本人就如同一个主角那样的“异乡人”。

Outside, across the putrid moat and under the dark mute trees, I would often lie and dream for hours about what I read in the books; and would longingly picture myself amidst gay crowds in the sunny world beyond the endless forest. Once I tried to escape from the forest, but as I went farther from the castle the shade grew denser and the air more filled with brooding fear; so that I ran frantically back lest I lose my way in a labyrinth of nighted silence.

在城堡外面，穿过那臭气熏天的护城河，在黑暗幽静的树木之下，我时常会躺在那，做着关于书籍内容的梦；并充满期待地幻想着自己远在这无尽森林之外的明媚世界，身处欢快的人群中央。有一次我试着逃离这密林，但我越是远离城堡，那阴影就越是密集，连空气中森然的恐惧都愈发浓稠；骇得我疯狂往回逃去，以免在这如夜般的寂静迷宫中迷失方向。

So through endless twilights I dreamed and waited, though I knew not what I waited for. Then in the shadowy solitude my longing for light grew so frantic that I could rest no more, and I lifted entreating hands to the single black ruined tower that reached above the forest into the unknown outer sky. And at last I resolved to scale that tower, fall though I might; since it were better to glimpse the sky and perish, than to live without ever beholding day.

越过这无尽的暮色，我梦想着，等待着，即使我自己都不知道在等待着什么。在阴暗的孤独中，对光明的强烈渴望令我疯狂到急不可耐，我对那唯一超越树木穿入深空的黑色塔楼举起了渴求的双手。终于，我决定登上那座高塔，哪怕会跌的粉身碎骨；因为对我来说，与其在这不见天日的黑暗中荒度余生，不如亲眼目睹天空之姿后烟消云散。

In the dank twilight I climbed the worn and aged stone stairs till I reached the level where they ceased, and thereafter clung perilously to small footholds leading upward. Ghastly and terrible was that dead, stairless cylinder of rock; black, ruined, and deserted, and sinister with startled bats whose wings made no noise. But more ghastly and terrible still was the slowness of my progress; for climb as I might, the darkness overhead grew no thinner, and a new chill as of haunted and venerable mould assailed me. I shivered as I wondered why I did not reach the light, and would have looked down had I dared. I fancied that night had come suddenly upon me, and vainly groped with one free hand for a window embrasure, that I might peer out and above, and try to judge the height I had attained.

在阴冷的暮色中，我爬上古老破碎的石阶直到尽头，然后惊险地攀着一些勉强可供立足之处向上移动。这死气沉沉的石质柱状高塔如此阴森可怕；漆黑、破败且荒凉，还有受惊的蝙蝠悄然掠过，散播着一股不详之意。更加阴森可怕的是我缓慢的进展；因为尽管我努力地攀爬着，头顶那片阴霾并没有变薄，而一股恐怖骇人的新的寒意侵袭了我。我想知道为何还没有看到光明，哆嗦着，也没有向下望去的胆量。我幻想着夜晚突然降临，而我正徒劳地摸索着能让我爬上去的窗口，然后试着判断自己已经攀升到了何种高度。

All at once, after an infinity of awesome, sightless crawling up that concave and desperate precipice, I felt my head touch a solid thing, and I knew I must have gained the roof, or at least some kind of floor. In the darkness I raised my free hand and tested the barrier, finding it stone and immovable. Then came a deadly circuit of the tower, clinging to whatever holds the slimy wall could give; till finally my testing hand found the barrier yielding, and I turned upward again, pushing the slab or door with my head as I used both hands in my fearful ascent. There was no light revealed above, and as my hands went higher I knew that my climb was for the nonce ended; since the slab was the trap-door of an aperture leading to a level stone surface of greater circumference than the lower tower, no doubt the floor of some lofty and capacious observation chamber. I crawled through carefully, and tried to prevent the heavy slab from falling back into place; but failed in the latter attempt. As I lay exhausted on the stone floor I heard the eerie echoes of its fall, but hoped when necessary to pry it open again.

突然之间，在那凹凸不平又令人绝望的峭壁上，历经无尽的惊惧盲目攀爬后，我感觉自己的脑袋触到了某个坚实的物体，于是我知道，我一定是到达了屋顶，或至少是某处的地板。在黑暗之中，我举起空闲的那只手推了推头顶的屏障，那是坚硬的石质，且非常稳固。我绝望地攀着塔楼绕行，扣紧粘滑墙壁能够提供的支撑；终于，我的手推动了某处门板，于是赶紧向上用力，用我的头和双手使劲推着活板门，惊险地升高。上面没有光线透出，而随着手的升高，我明白这段攀登已经宣告结束了；因为穿过活板门，通向的是一片比下面塔楼面积更广的石质地面，而这无疑是某个高大宽阔的瞭望室的地板。我小心地爬上去，并试图阻止沉重的石板落回原位；但最后还是失败了。我筋疲力尽地躺在地上，听着石板砸落的声音，我侥幸地企盼着当我需要时它还能打开。

Believing I was now at a prodigious height, far above the accursed branches of the wood, I dragged myself up from the floor and fumbled about for windows, that I might look for the first time upon the sky, and the moon and stars of which I had read. But on every hand I was disappointed; since all that I found were vast shelves of marble, bearing odious oblong boxes of disturbing size. More and more I reflected, and wondered what hoary secrets might abide in this high apartment so many aeons cut off from the castle below. Then unexpectedly my hands came upon a doorway, where hung a portal of stone, rough with strange chiselling. Trying it, I found it locked; but with a supreme burst of strength I overcame all obstacles and dragged it open inward. As I did so there came to me the purest ecstasy I have ever known; for shining tranquilly through an ornate grating of iron, and down a short stone passageway of steps that ascended from the newly found doorway, was the radiant full moon, which I had never before seen save in dreams and in vague visions I dared not call memories.

我相信自己已经到达了一个难以想象的高度，远高于那些受诅咒的乱枝，我从地上挣扎起来，笨拙地摸索着，试图找到窗户，那样我就能第一次望向天空，亲眼看见曾在书中读到过的月亮和星星了。但事实让我感到失望；因为周围都是些巨大的大理石架子，上面摆放着大到令人讨厌、不安的长方体盒子。我越想越多，并很想知道这处与下面城堡隔绝上千万年的房间到底藏着什么样的古老秘密。出乎意料地，我的双手突然摸在了一面石门上，触感粗糙还带有奇怪的凿刻痕迹。尝试过后我发现它上了锁；但一股极强的力量迸发出来，使我能够克服一切阻碍，将那石门向内拉开。这一刻，我浑身充满了一种从未有过的、纯粹的狂喜；只因我看见，面前那道华丽的铁栅栏之外，一轮皎洁的圆月正挂在空中，静静地散发着光辉；月光洒在栅栏外面短短的石质台阶上；这是我只有在梦中和那些我不敢称之为记忆的模糊画面中才能见到的景象。

Fancying now that I had attained the very pinnacle of the castle, I commenced to rush up the few steps beyond the door; but the sudden veiling of the moon by a cloud caused me to stumble, and I felt my way more slowly in the dark. It was still very dark when I reached the grating—which I tried carefully and found unlocked, but which I did not open for fear of falling from the amazing height to which I had climbed. Then the moon came out.

想到自己已经到达城堡的最高点，我便开始向着门外稀少的几阶台阶奔去；但突如其来的云层遮住了月光，使我只能蹒跚而行，并觉得在黑暗中的行走时比之前更加缓慢了。当我到达栅栏时依旧是漆黑一片——出于对高空坠落的恐惧，我没有打开它，尽管在小心翼翼地试探过后发现并没有上锁。这时，月亮出来了。

Most daemoniacal of all shocks is that of the abysmally unexpected and grotesquely unbelievable. Nothing I had before undergone could compare in terror with what I now saw; with the bizarre marvels that sight implied. The sight itself was as simple as it was stupefying, for it was merely this: instead of a dizzying prospect of treetops seen from a lofty eminence, there stretched around me on a level through the grating nothing less than the solid ground, decked and diversified by marble slabs and columns, and overshadowed by an ancient stone church, whose ruined spire gleamed spectrally in the moonlight.

那一切冲击中最为邪性的，是彻底的令人出乎意料和荒唐的难以置信。

任何事情都无法与我看着眼前怪异的景象所感受到的恐惧相比较。太平凡了，平凡到令人惊叹：我并没有在高空中俯视那令人眼花缭乱的树梢，摆在面前的就只是从栅栏门延伸出去的坚实水平地面，其上覆盖着大理石板和石柱，一座古老的石质教堂坐落其上，破损的尖顶在月光下闪闪发光。

Half unconscious, I opened the grating and staggered out upon the white gravel path that stretched away in two directions. My mind, stunned and chaotic as it was, still held the frantic craving for light; and not even the fantastic wonder which had happened could stay my course. I neither knew nor cared whether my experience was insanity, dreaming, or magic; but was determined to gaze on brilliance and gaiety at any cost. I knew not who I was or what I was, or what my surroundings might be; though as I continued to stumble along I became conscious of a kind of fearsome latent memory that made my progress not wholly fortuitous. I passed under an arch out of that region of slabs and columns, and wandered through the open country; sometimes following the visible road, but sometimes leaving it curiously to tread across meadows where only occasional ruins bespoke the ancient presence of a forgotten road. Once I swam across a swift river where crumbling, mossy masonry told of a bridge long vanished.

几乎是无意识的状态下，我打开了栅栏门，并跌跌撞撞地踏上那条朝着两个方向延伸而出的白石小道。我的思维愕然且混乱，可仍发狂地渴求着光明；即使是刚刚的怪诞奇观也无法阻拦我。我记不清楚、也不在乎自己刚刚所经历的到底是精神错乱，梦魇还是魔法，只想不惜一切代价地去追寻那光彩和欢愉。我不知道自己曾经是什么人，或是什么生物，亦或是我周围的环境曾经如何；但是当我继续蹒跚而行之时，一种潜藏已久的可怕回忆让我意识到，这一路的前行恐怕并非全是巧合。我穿过一座拱门，离开了那片遍布石板和石柱之处，然后在一片开阔的区域上漫步；有时沿着清晰可见的小路行走，有时却怪异地踏上草坪，时不时看到的废墟证明着草地上曾经存在过的、已经被遗忘的道路。有次我甚至游过了一条湍急的河流，岸边苔藓密布的碎裂砖石描述着已经消亡许久的石桥。

Over two hours must have passed before I reached what seemed to be my goal, a venerable ivied castle in a thickly wooded park; maddeningly familiar, yet full of perplexing strangeness to me. I saw that the moat was filled in, and that some of the well-known towers were demolished; whilst new wings existed to confuse the beholder. But what I observed with chief interest and delight were the open windows—gorgeously ablaze with light and sending forth sound of the gayest revelry. Advancing to one of these I looked in and saw an oddly dressed company, indeed; making merry, and speaking brightly to one another. I had never, seemingly, heard human speech before; and could guess only vaguely what was said. Some of the faces seemed to hold expressions that brought up incredibly remote recollections; others were utterly alien.

到达所谓的目的地时，大概已经过了两个多小时，我看到一座爬满藤蔓的肃穆城堡矗立在茂密丛林之中；一股令人抓狂的熟悉感但又满载着令人费解的陌生感向我席卷而来。护城河已经被填平了，而我熟悉的塔楼也有一部分被拆除了，与此同时，新修建的侧翼让我这个旁观者感到迷惑。但最令我关注和喜悦的，是那些敞开的窗子——闪耀着华丽的光芒，并传出屋内庆祝欢愉盛宴发出的声音。我走向其中一处，并朝屋中望去，看到一群身着奇装异服的人们正在欢快地玩乐，一起兴奋地交谈着。可能是由于我之前从未听过人们讲话，因此只能大概猜猜他们在说些什么。其中某些面孔的神态似乎唤起了我一些极为久远的回忆；而其他面孔看起来则完全陌生。

I now stepped through the low window into the brilliantly lighted room, stepping as I did so from my single bright moment of hope to my blackest convulsion of despair and realisation. The nightmare was quick to come; for as I entered, there occurred immediately one of the most terrifying demonstrations I had ever conceived. Scarcely had I crossed the sill when there descended upon the whole company a sudden and unheralded fear of hideous intensity, distorting every face and evoking the most horrible screams from nearly every throat. Flight was universal, and in the clamour and panic several fell in a swoon and were dragged away by their madly fleeing companions. Many covered their eyes with their hands, and plunged blindly and awkwardly in their race to escape; overturning furniture and stumbling against the walls before they managed to reach one of the many doors.

我跨过窗口，走进那敞亮的房间，可是这跨越却将我从最明亮的时刻拉进最黑暗的绝望和现实之中。噩梦很快降临，正当我踏入房间时，一种我从未想象过的、最恐惧的景象突然爆发了。随着我跨过窗台，突如其来的浓重恐惧笼罩了房间，每一张面孔都在疯狂地扭曲，每一副喉咙都在惊恐地尖叫。逃跑显得再正常不过，于慌乱和喧闹之中，甚至有几个人跌倒昏迷，并被其他疯狂奔逃的同伴拖走。还有很多人用手捂住眼睛，然后盲目又笨拙地乱窜；打翻家具，撞上壁墙，直到他们终于到达其中一处出口。

The cries were shocking; and as I stood in the brilliant apartment alone and dazed, listening to their vanishing echoes, I trembled at the thought of what might be lurking near me unseen. At a casual inspection the room seemed deserted, but when I moved toward one of the alcoves I thought I detected a presence there—a hint of motion beyond the golden-arched doorway leading to another and somewhat similar room. As I approached the arch I began to perceive the presence more clearly; and then, with the first and last sound I ever uttered—a ghastly ululation that revolted me almost as poignantly as its noxious cause—I beheld in full, frightful vividness the inconceivable, indescribable, and unmentionable monstrosity which had by its simple appearance changed a merry company to a herd of delirious fugitives.

哭喊声震耳欲聋，而我独自一人茫然地站在这华丽的屋中，听着他们渐远的回声，意识到自己身边可能潜藏着的无形恐怖，我不禁战栗起来。放眼望去，整个房间已经空无一人，但当我朝着一处壁龛走去时，却发现——在那通向另一个房间的金色拱门之外，似乎有什么动静。接近拱门时，我更明确地觉察到了“它”的存在；就在这时，我首次也是最后一次发出了声音——一种令人毛骨悚然的嚎叫声，正如那令我嚎叫的秽源一样恶心——以一种极其可怕的生动感呈现在我面前的，是那令人难以置信的、难以描述又难以名状的丑陋怪物，正是它吓得那些快乐的人们开始狂乱逃窜，仅仅靠着其骇人的外表。

I cannot even hint what it was like, for it was a compound of all that is unclean, uncanny, unwelcome, abnormal, and detestable. It was the ghoulish shade of decay, antiquity, and desolation; the putrid, dripping eidolon of unwholesome revelation; the awful baring of that which the merciful earth should always hide. God knows it was not of this world—or no longer of this world—yet to my horror I saw in its eaten-away and bone-revealing outlines a leering, abhorrent travesty on the human shape; and in its mouldy, disintegrating apparel an unspeakable quality that chilled me even more.

我甚至无法描述它的样子，因为它就像是由这世间所有的不洁、怪异、不受欢迎的可怖畸形之物混合而成。那是一个如食尸鬼一般的躯体，浑身笼罩着腐朽，古老和荒凉的气息；身上的糜烂腐肉湿黏地流着脓水，令人作呕；仁慈的大地应该将之埋藏，永不现世。上帝知道它不属于这个世界——至少已经不再属于这个世界了——因为令我恐惧的是，它那已被啃食得露出白骨的身躯，竟如此荒唐地呈现着人的轮廓；而其身上霉迹斑斑的破碎衣物所展露出的难以辨识的质地更是让我浑身发凉。

I was almost paralysed, but not too much so to make a feeble effort toward flight; a backward stumble which failed to break the spell in which the nameless, voiceless monster held me. My eyes, bewitched by the glassy orbs which stared loathsomely into them, refused to close; though they were mercifully blurred, and shewed the terrible object but indistinctly after the first shock. I tried to raise my hand to shut out the sight, yet so stunned were my nerves that my arm could not fully obey my will. The attempt, however, was enough to disturb my balance; so that I had to stagger forward several steps to avoid falling. As I did so I became suddenly and agonisingly aware of the nearness of the carrion thing, whose hideous hollow breathing I half fancied I could hear. Nearly mad, I found myself yet able to throw out a hand to ward off the foetid apparition which pressed so close; when in one cataclysmic second of cosmic nightmarishness and hellish accident my fingers touched the rotting outstretched paw of the monster beneath the golden arch.

我几乎快要瘫痪了，还好依然能够哆嗦着试图逃离；蹒跚后退并没有打破那无名无声怪物施在我身上的魔咒。我的双眼，像着了魔一般紧紧盯着那对玻璃一样的眼球，不肯闭上；不过幸运的是，出于刚才的惊恐，我眼前已经变得有些模糊了，只能大概看见那恐怖的生物。我抬起手，试图挡住视线，但备受震慑的神经让我的手臂不听使唤。不过，这番尝试却足以打破平衡；因此我不受控制地向前踉跄了几步。这下子那腐烂的怪物就近在咫尺了！我甚至觉得自己听到了从那让人发毛的空洞中传来的呼吸声。这一切简直快让我疯掉了，这时我意识到自己还可以伸出手来抵挡一下那恶臭熏天的鬼怪；于是在那一刹那，简直像在无尽梦魇和地狱灾变中一般，我的手指触碰到了那怪物从金色拱门下朝我伸出的腐烂爪子。

I did not shriek, but all the fiendish ghouls that ride the night-wind shrieked for me as in that same second there crashed down upon my mind a single and fleeting avalanche of soul-annihilating memory. I knew in that second all that had been; I remembered beyond the frightful castle and the trees, and recognised the altered edifice in which I now stood; I recognised, most terrible of all, the unholy abomination that stood leering before me as I withdrew my sullied fingers from its own.

我没有尖叫，但所有随风穿行的食尸恶鬼都在为我尖叫，那一刻，那些尘封已久的记忆如雪崩般狠狠在我脑海中迸发开来。我知道了曾经发生的一切；忆起了城堡和丛林之外的景象，也认出了自己所处的建筑；随着我抽回自己肮脏的手指，我意识到，最为恐怖的，是面前这正邪恶地凝视着我的不洁之物。

But in the cosmos there is balm as well as bitterness, and that balm is nepenthe. In the supreme horror of that second I forgot what had horrified me, and the burst of black memory vanished in a chaos of echoing images. In a dream I fled from that haunted and accursed pile, and ran swiftly and silently in the moonlight. When I returned to the churchyard place of marble and went down the steps I found the stone trap-door immovable; but I was not sorry, for I had hated the antique castle and the trees. Now I ride with the mocking and friendly ghouls on the night-wind, and play by day amongst the catacombs of Nephren-Ka in the sealed and unknown valley of Hadoth by the Nile. I know that light is not for me, save that of the moon over the rock tombs of Neb, nor any gaiety save the unnamed feasts of Nitokris beneath the Great Pyramid; yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage.

在这宇宙中伴随着痛苦的，是慰藉，而那慰藉正是遗忘。在极度的恐惧中，我忘却了令我恐惧的源头，那突然爆发的黑暗回忆，也逐渐消散，成为了一些时常闪过的混乱画面。在半梦半醒中，我逃离了那片闹鬼的、受诅咒的建筑，然后在月光笼罩之下，迅速而无声地奔跑。当我返回大理石教堂遮掩下的墓地，走下台阶时，发现地上的石板门已经无法打开了，对此我并不遗憾，因为我早已厌烦了那古旧的城堡和树林。如今我和那些喜欢嘲弄但也对我很友好的食尸鬼们一同驾着夜风前行，并在白天前往尼罗河边鲜为人知的哈多斯山谷，玩乐于涅弗伦·卡的地下墓穴中。我知道那月光不是为我而明，而是为了照耀奈布石冢，还有大金字塔下的欢乐，也是由于尼托克莉斯的无名盛宴，而非为我准备；不过，在这份新奇的狂野与自由中，我甚至还颇为感谢自己异乡人身份所带来的苦痛。

For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men. This I have known ever since I stretched out my fingers to the abomination within that great gilded frame; stretched out my fingers and touched a cold and unyielding surface of polished glass.

遗忘已经使我平静下来，但我从始至终都清楚，在这个时代、以及那些依然是人类的存在当中，我只是一个陌生的异乡人。自我在黄金拱门之下，从那可憎之物身旁抽回手指开始，我就一直清楚着：那天，我伸出手指所触碰到的，是一块光滑洁净，冰冷坚实的镜子表面。

结语

1926年前后的这段时间里，洛夫克拉夫特创造了不少包含食尸鬼，甚至是以食尸鬼为主要内容的作品，《异乡人》当中的主角其实就是一只食尸鬼，它是很久很久以前生活在城堡里的人，也是文中那些作乐的人们中某些人的祖先，以某种形式转化为食尸鬼后，主角由于部分失忆（可能是因为太古老了）而误以为自己是年轻人类，最终意识到真相的它，心中该有多么复杂？一个真真正正的异乡人……

尽管本文简短且并不算是足够优秀（事实上洛夫克拉夫特的作品确实是公认的枯燥单调，文笔也不怎么好，尤其是大量重复、无法生动描绘景象的形容词和长难句，让人不得不耐着性子才能读下去。不过洛氏作品主要的亮点在于剧情和对情节的展开方式，所以文笔方面还是不要过于追究啦），但读完后依旧让我百感交集。我的童年也对我的性格造成了极大且不可逆转的影响，无论是内心的寂寥还是客居他乡的陌生，都让我以一种非常矛盾的心态对带着自己和他人，虽然今年已经23岁了，可那种恐惧着又渴求着孤独的状态和十多年前喜欢在暴雨天缩在角落看书的呆瓜小孩并没有什么不同。

从上一篇文章过后拖了好几天，准备面试加上疫情突发导致被困小区，现在终于清零了，清零的是冰箱。

希望盒友们喜欢，有什么建议和意见尽管提在评论区里，谢谢大家！下一期开始《克苏鲁的呼唤》！#哈克大神创作者征集活动#